


all odds

by probablynotadalek



Series: Probably Not Ficlets [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 15:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18122876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/probablynotadalek/pseuds/probablynotadalek
Summary: The odds are rarely, rarely stacked in Tony's favor.





	all odds

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for @murdocks-matthew for the @stevetonysecretsanta gift exchange! they asked for soulmates and the MCU, so here’s a post civil-war slight-au. I hope you like some angst my friend.

The disposable phone sat, untouched, on a table in Tony’s workshop. He was supposed to be working, but he couldn’t remember what he was working on. Maybe a new armor. Maybe the exoskeleton he was making Rhodey. Maybe the Pepper or the board had given him some pressing deadline.

Instead, Tony sat unmoving and stared at the phone Steve had given him. He stroked absently at the soulmark on his arm.

Tony had thought, long ago, that having a soul mate would fix everything. As a kid he had relied on it. He needed to believe that somewhere out there was someone would love him unconditionally.

Then he grew up, and the people he loved betrayed him or left him or loved someone else.

Then he met Steve, and during their fight on the helicarrier he saw the mark on Tony’s arm, matching the mark on Steve’s chest, and everything was going to be fine.

Then the Sokovia Accords happened, and they fought, and soulmates weren’t supposed to kill each other but they were so close and then everything fell apart again.

He stared at the phone. He wouldn’t call. The phone was meant for emergencies, Tony told himself.

His broken heart wasn’t anything new, and it definitely wasn’t an emergency.

***

Wakanda was beautiful. Steve spent his time exploring it with a sketchbook and a pencil. He drew its rivers and trees and sunsets. He spent hours trying to capture the people and the buildings, the peaceful, otherworldly feeling of the city around him.

Tony would have loved it. Steve hardly understood any of the technology around them, which meant Tony would have been amazed, if not floored. He would have wanted to reverse engineer every part of it– the flying cars, the healing chambers, the supercomputers, probably even the wiring in the walls, just to see how it was different. He would have spent all day huddled over something in his workshop, or on the floor if he got too excited. His face would light up and he would tell Steve about every detail he discovered, every new trick, and how he was going to use it.

That part of their lives was over. “Finish it,” Tony had said, laying on his back with the arc reactor exposed, and Steve almost did. The scene played over and over in his dreams and nightmares and whenever he closed his eyes.

Bucky had needed saving, and the Avengers needed a certain level of autonomy, and he knew he had fought for what was right. He didn’t regret fighting. But as he sat by a waterfall with a hand over his heart (and the soul mark hidden there) Steve wondered it if was worth it.

He wasn’t sure it was, but it was too late.

***

The world never gave Tony much time to wallow. It was good, really, to keep busy. It was… Better, if he was preoccupied. Better to worry about alien invasions and magic rocks than to think about the empty space in his bed. And at the table. And on the couch in his workshop. And–

“Tony.” Pepper said gently. She reached across the table and laid a hand on his arm. Right over the soul mark. He wondered if she remembered.

Of course she did. It was Pepper. She was perfect. Telling her that the soul mark on her hip matched the one on Rhodey’s shoulder had felt like tearing his heart on two, but he had never deserved her.

He didn’t deserve Steve, either. The universe just had a funny way of proving it.

“Right.” Tony said. He faked a smile, mostly for himself. Pepper and Rhodey could see right through it, he knew, but neither of them said anything. “Big, terrifying alien spaceship looming overhead. And a planet’s worth of Asgardian refugees.”

“Is that really our jurisdiction?” Rhodey asked.

“Well, it’s either us or SHIELD, and they have a known affinity for nuclear weapons.” Tony said.

“So it’s our problem.”

“For now.” Tony sighed. “I miss the days when our biggest enemy was Justin Hammer.”

“No you don’t.” Pepper smiled.

“No,” Tony smiled back at her, for real this time, “I don’t.”

“What’s the plan, then?” Rhodey asked. “We bringing in the military this time, or?”

“You know the answer to that one, honey bear.” Tony said. “We’re calling the–” He stopped. Avengers didn’t feel right, not without Steve. “We’re calling the team.”

***

Steve sat with Bucky in front of floor length mirrors in a small room of T’challa’s palace, near the armory. Bucky was doing better, improving in ways Steve had all but given up on. He started smiling like he used to, and for the moment that meant everything. It was what Steve had given up the world for, at any rate.

It was a peaceful moment, quiet, and neither of them talked. Steve hadn’t told Bucky about Tony yet. He wasn’t sure how. “That was my soulmate we nearly killed back there

Suddenly there was a commotion outside. Steve looked out into the hall to see a group of warriors rushing into the armory and quickly running back out again. He saw T’challa and stepped in front of him.

“Where are you going in such a hurry?”

“We are needed.” T’challa said. The gravity in his voice told Steve all he needed to know. “Will you come?”

He nodded.

“Good. Shuri,” T’challa said, turning to the woman beside him, “Get this man a shield.”

***

The fight wasn’t over, it wasn’t even close, but it slowed down for a moment. Tony looked out across the battlefield and saw Steve, battered and bloody and holding a plain silver shield, who turned and looked at him. They stared each other down across fire and smoke and bodies. Tony desperately wished he had the strength to make the first move.

“You can still be mad.” Rhodey said. “You don’t have to forgive him.”

“I know.” Tony said. The problem was, he already had.

They both moved at once, Tony flying quicker than was probably safe with a single working repulsor. He and Steve stopped a few feet away from each other.

“I’m sorry.” Steve said. “I shouldn’t have– I pushed it too far.”

“Me too.” Tony said.

“I missed you.”

“Me too.”

And there was a lot more that needed to be said. A lot more needed to be done. But for the moment, all they needed was to rush forward into a kiss that had been long overdue.


End file.
